5 days just passed and tomorrow would be the day when I discover my fate - leave or stay.

I seriously don't know which one to choose - leave or stay. I would like to stay, and at the same time, leave!

After some observations, I felt that I'm having my arrow pointed towards LEAVE and I feel that whether I'm around or not, everything would be the same.

Someone said this to me, "I CANNOT find 10 reasons for you to STAY, but, I CAN find 100 reasons for you to LEAVE."

Guess what was my feelings after I heard this?! The arrow that was pointing towards the middle of leave and stay moved a lot towards LEAVE.

I feel that my existence is only visible to four things - my dog, my piano, my room and my close family members. As for the rest, I feel that I'm invisible to them.

Cutting my wrist no longer works for me, so counting it out, I'm only left with two choices - Follow ____ or DIE.

I have only ONE question for A PARTICULAR bunch of people, "Do I really exist in your world?"

Bu guessing, I think that I can have the answers already - NO.

Seriously, I don't think isolating oneself in a corner, crying is a good way for me, but, instead, I want to ground myself.

I HAVE TO start being independent (as in I can do something without being in a group).
I HAVE TO stop trusting or relying on people.
I HAVE TO believe in myself.
I HAVE TO get myself out of the situation I'm in, MYSELF.

That's all for today...